Blue water and Jesus

There I was, fourteen years old. The room was stuffed with high school kids listening to and watching a man spill water all over the floor. I don't remember his name, but I remember the message he so desperately wanted us to understand. Moments before he had brought out blue food coloring and a glass of water. As he dropped the deep blue drops into the clear water he told us that like our sin the blue food coloring could not be removed. It was impossible for we as people to rid of it. The night before this guy had talked about this word sin and in my head I asked "what is sin?. I knew it wasn't good, but I didn't know exactly what it was. Was it a mistake I made? Something I did wrong? Turns out that sin was worse than that. He told us that it was that dark feeling inside us, the thing that made us feel angry, scared, lonely and sad. It was like a disease, something I was born with- but most importantly it is what separated me from God. God? What? I remember squirming. Much of my life prior to that weekend was spent avoiding the idea of a God. I didn't understand what to do or feel when people talked about there being a God and therefore before that weekend I taught myself to turn my ears off when God was mentioned. But this condition of sadness and loneliness and the constant desire to do things that hurt me made sense. This nameless speaker spoke of something deep down I understood. He had the answer to a question I had been asking for a long time. "Why am I so sad?" It was simple in my 14 year old mind, I was literally sick with sin. Intrigued I listened to the man talk about God and how my sin divided us (me and God).

Sitting there I watched him hold the blue "sin" filled glass that was suppose to resemble me in my sin. I just couldn't believe there was nothing I could do by myself to get rid of my sin, to get of the blue. Could I make up for my sin? Could I do good things and live a good life from that moment on? I knew I wasn't perfect, I knew that I did bad things and thought bad things, but I could fix those things...right? At that moment the man pulled out a huge pitcher of clear water, he told us that sometimes in our lives we try to get rid of sin or hide it by doing good things, by being good people- and as he poured the clear water in the glass tears began to stream down my face. The blue didn't go away. I tried wishing it away. I tried shutting my eyes and opening them again, but the blue water simply overflowed to the floor. When the pitcher of water was empty the man looked up and said there was nothing we, nothing I could do alone to make sin go away. I was devastated I finally knew why my hurt so bad, why my world was so messed up, but there was nothing I could do.

Then he said the name Jesus. In my head I asked "He was a baby right? What did a baby have to do with my sin?" As the man continued he tole the quiet teenagers how Jesus grew into a man and performed miracles and healed people and loved people because he was the son of God. I couldn't take it anymore I needed the speaker to tell me what Jesus had to do with my sin... and then he said, He died for it. He sacrificed his life, executed on a cross for my sin. The man did not spare the gruesome details of his death, he told us what Jesus underwent and when it he was done he talked about how Jesus didn't stay dead. "What? Wait he didn't stay dead," the speaker said resurrected- another new word in a weekend of new words. My muscles were heavy, I couldn't move. The speaker paused and then said that if we wanted to we could get rid of the consequence of sin, the consequence being hell and all we had to do was begin a relationship with Jesus, to accept this grace and forgiveness for our sin and no longer be consumed by our sadness, pain and loneliness, but rather be consumed by God. The speaker didn't promise us that our lives would be simple and without some tough stuff, but he promised that we would have Jesus to help us, to love us and to forgive us. He picked up the glass of blue water and dropped a new drop of liquid in the water and the blue disappeared. Ending his message the speaker looked out at the staring faces and said this is what happens when you ask Jesus into your life.

I walked outside into the cold Colorado mountains. Finding a place to be alone I sat down and I talked to Jesus for the first time. I told him I wanted him to forgive me. I told him I wanted a relationship with him. That is when Jesus saved me.